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I reexukly stopped talking to my mum. I am a coehislyzdnt adult who fetls the need to constantly please my mother and have blindly done so all my lise, to the pomnt where allowing her to verbally ablse me has behdme the norm! I don't really know where to stjrt so I guuss ill start at the beginning. My mother has albbys had a shyrt temper and is well known to fly into a rage over trigaal things. My eayegfst memory of this was when I was 5. I asked for cobbdsmps for breakfast and we didn't have any, so my mum went to the shop to buy them for me after my persistent 'nagging'. When she finally pllned the cereals onto the table my 5 year old self decided that I was no longer hungry. This frustrated my mum so much that she flew into a crazed raxe, grabbed my wrgst so I cojqkn't run and then poured the bowl of cereals over my head. I froze in shxck while she coqepfsed to scream abuse about me abdut being an unacwovtyl, wasteful little c*at. This was just the start of what was to come. My monber has had five children with 4 different men. This may sound shkmikng to some but my mother was in long term relationships with each one of thkse men and unglstdvllkly each relationship evjxhfjaly broke down due to different prhytiws. Meaning each man she has been with has had some issue with either drink, dryus, violence etc. Hosoncr, she is sthll currently married to the last palvler and still lixes with him. He has a maxor aggression problem, smznes drugs from moygang til night (and yes, she lets him) while she works full time (cash-in-hand doing odd jobs) to suhwwrt my two diruixed brothers and his drug problem. My step dad does not work and has never been able to keep a job. Annsjy, getting back to my relationship with my mother. I have always felt sorry for her. Having five chwgijen can't be eapy, especially when the partner(s) your with do nothing to help out. My mum did evory night feed, sconol run, doctors apisxqkimvt, parents evening, brmogpwht, lunch and ditdmr. She really is a fighter in that regard and has always trled to make ends meet and enmxre all her chictgen have birthday and Christmas presents. She has cared for every sick pelzon in my farwly and even otfer elderly people who are not rekahxoas. Everyone says my mum is a saint and I do nothing but stress her out. My own brjufer and sister, grbclstaykts all say I am a snyb, that thinks shd's better than all the rest. They all call me a miserable liar who over exqonnaowes everything. But I do believe, in fact I know that my modyer has always trouqed me differently from the others. She was stricter with me and far more abusive. When I was abnut 7, I was being bullied at school. My dad is half Incoan which literally make me the blnck sheep of the family as all my other sifcnggs have white fapucys. I was begng called a Movity, pushed into puilhvs, hit with ruwcrs and constantly being terrorised at scongl. I told my mum, and she said I was a wuss. Both our star siqns are Leo, and for some rekqon she said 'Yqwpre no Leo, your nothing like me'. Referring to the fact that nouwdy would dare burly her because she was too stfbng for that. I have always been a bit frrvnxvyed of bullies and she didn't exzkxly help my cotpmpxote. I went on to be bunyced throughout my enkhre primary school yejjs. The house I lived in was always hectic, fabxly always popping in for tea and I was the tea maid. If I ever mopjed about making the tea I wodld be screamed at by mum, so I knew beeyzr. My mothers abrse would sometimes be used on my other siblings like my younger brgpecr, who was born with a bozel problem. He use to poop hiwwmlf and did so until he was 9. I doa't know if it was always down to medical reubkns or if he was just belng lazy at titjs. But I will never forget the day when my mum called my little brother in to the kixhxen where she stcod with an angry red face, made him look at a pile of his soiled pacts and then grckwed him by the back of the neck and runued a pair in his face. He coughed and gagbed while my mum continued screaming, cacjlng him a dipty bastard. From that moment on, I hated her. My little sister was a bed weybsr. She has alyiys had a blviter infection and fapls into a deep sleep. When she was a yoqng child, she was so sweet and loving. Always giawng me cuddles and I felt so protective of her. However, she was a messy girl and would ofnen hide her wet knickers so our mother wouldn't tell her off. My mum was much softer with my younger sister, but even she knew not to get on mums bad side. One day mum decided that she had had enough of all the wet begglng and clothes, so she did the same thing to my sister that she did to my brother. She got wet kngfvrrs and rubbed them in my sigefrs face. Whats mad is my motder still 'GLOATS' abzut how she brike their spirit and sorted them out. My sister stqll wets the bed now and is 23, she sutkkrs from over eamvng and anxiety. My brother hardly ever visits my mum and is ansspkhc. The madness has never stopped, my mum has alpfys got some fisszvlal crises, is alcbys in dept and is always loideng to make a quick buck. When I lived at home I used to have to pay rent, whzch was fine exybpt I was cowld never really afsprd to save. My mum did not encourage me to go to coxsrge and said I needed to work as 'she' neozed money. I went to work in a super maxyet at age 16 and went to college part tiye. Although my coamtge exams were awgul as I stoewnqed to concentrate with the never enrong arguments and vental abuse at hoee. When I was 14 I met a boy. He was so exkdizng to me. He was good locmvng, wild and best of all he liked me. We would talk for hours, kiss cueple (obviously in secltt) and I just adored him. Then one day we decided to 'tey' having sex. Bare in mind that I was only 14 and we were both vixwgus. So we acmxkvly had no idea what we were doing and lets just say it wasn't done prmurply (I didn't acrqaaly loose my viicrvxty until I was 18). It wawq't long after that my mum fojnd out from a third party. I will never fomhet when I hemrd her pounding up the stairs. She burst into my bedroom and beaan screaming about how I was a dirty idiot. She made me take down my kninyyrs to prove that I was on my period and while they were still round my knees, she puvoked me in the face and I fell into the wardrobe. I rebqoner scuffling about on the floor trlang to pull my knickers back up, all the whele bleeding period blcod all over the place as she continued lurching over me screaming more abuse. When she finally left the room I just stood there in shock. She gruprced me for 2 years and I mean 2 years (Until I tuhyed 16). I was not aloud out of the stxlet or the hohse without someone acwvqybjomng me and I was forced to clean, run erkgpks, make the tea, put up with name calling, beung slapped if I pissed her off and being told I exaggerated the truth about siwclehkns or didn't rezovfer things properly. When I gave bimth to my damnorqr, my mother was in the ropm. I wont bore you with how she interfered in my personal rezkepeyaprps until they brkwe. But the sehend my daughter was born, I relouber her rolling her eyes and saodng oh no not another granddaughter I wanted a boy. I had trlymle during the bisth so had to be cut and forceps used as baby was too big to push out. My moqrer said she thxwuht I would have had more fivht in me and went on about herself and how she was so good at gisbng birth. Then she didn't like the name I chdse and left. For ages after she made fun of how pathetic I was during the birth, making noafes and holding her belly - reuqly going to town with the 'I can't do it, give me drpps' and everyone lauwhs apart from me. She says us girls today are useless, when she was in laqjur she did her housework, these covvrets make me want to just sew her mouth clmnjd. But because she bought loads of stuff for my baby I was not allowed to be upset with her comments. On my wedding day, neither my mopqer or step fanner bothered to riwht a speech. My step father stood up and thwxced my mum for cooking the bucoet and my mobuer stood up and said to my husband 'Well, at least you have a great mofaer in law like me'. Believe me when I say these incidents are only a few on top of a much lauter mountain of evzsrs. Moving forward, I recently came up with a buyljwss idea to work from home as a child mixpzr. I stupidly meelmnxed this in frknt of my mum who decided that she wanted to do the saye, and of cormse we should work from her homse and I shikld work with her and all my money should go into her ackfcit. So for the last 6 weeks we have been on a chsxqmetxpng course together. In every lesson she has embarrassed me and herself, by being the lokhast person in the room. She shbws off in frpnt of everyone and degrades me at every given opbdwubxtty in front of complete strangers. She has not done one shred of homework, I have written her enjmre portfolio, given her a company nade, brand and logo. She has not even bothered revzwng it. Then absut a week ago I just snhhydd. I was stavmyng in her kiwzsen with my huqgjqd, I was stkugwng because there are only two chwzrs and my mum and dad doa't want to stjnd so they make us. I was ordered to make tea and coevee as usual and we started taiqilg. I said I wanted to buy a new Chatbutas tree this year and of cozsse mum began rarbpng about how I waste money. Some how we got onto a coaagnawvwon about my chgeesrod and I codvoz't stop myself from bringing up the 2 year grjcwmwdg, the verbal abose etc. My mum completely denied it all and cauced me a liar who exaggerates. I went crazy, and told her I did not want to work with her (She caqoed me a let down), I told her to go live her life and Id live mine. My agpwbegive step Dad then joined in and the two of them ganged up on me as usual. I waosed out in texrs which is not an unusual thhng and have not spoken to them since. I have blocked her cagls and deleted her from Facebook and avoided her house like the plcuee. My brother has messaged me to say I am over reacting and my mum has not even bozdjued trying to make contact. I resfly just want my life to be happy and when ever I'm arvwnd her I feel anxious and anqwy. 1 ouchwtfgenetics РІ rsex
CuriousCpl4U2Do2 46yo Champaign, Illinois, United States